College starts soon

I really, really, and again, really need the new semester to start soon. Today is supposed to be the first day, but I'm free on monday. And I know this sounds weird, but for the first time now I wish I have class on monday. I can't take this do-nothing-except-find-something-to-do holiday any longer. I need to get busy. Soon. Now. Or I'll shoot myself.

Ouch

I woke up at 10.00 am this morning, got my period one hour later, and having my usual cramm and stomache now. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch!! I need my ponstan in order to last through the rest of today without squirming and whining. :'(

Two events this evening, the choice is mine to make: friends or family? Oh, I want both :'(

And this pain is killing meeee. Aarrrgh, now I'm in the mood for trashing! Ouchh. Ouchhhh. It hurts, my stomach and my lower back. Shuush, pain, pain, go awaaay

Home alone (again)

As I've written here before, for God knows how many times, I'll write it again: I hate being home alone.

B

I'm B.

Got myself a little torn here and there, but am okay...I guess.

My choice

I hate it when people are telling me what to do, as if they knew what's best for me. When people say A, I tend to go B (and C if people say B). When they're telling me to do A, I'll do anything I could to search the alternatives. Hey, it's my life right? My choice!

Also, I have this habbit of thinking too much. I overthink almost everything in my head, so when something slip inside (it usually was just a normal thought), played over and over again in my head until it gradually became a negative thought. Do you get what I mean? Maybe that's what makes my mood often goes up and down, and up, up again, and down. :( And when it's down, I'll decide to quit. But when it's up, I'll instantly forget about the downs. The cycle goes on forever, and I'm trapped. Niceee -.-"

Kemalasan

Puasa harus kuat. Tapi badan rasanya lemes banget. I'm exhausted!
Tinggal 1 minggu lagi sampai kuliah dimulai. Sangat-sangat malas. (Can I skip a year or two?)

Complicated

Tau gak sih kalo pikiran dan perasaan cewek itu rumit dan berbelit2? It's like riding on a never-ending roller-coaster. At least that's what I'm feeling. The good thing is, you can just enjoy it all (the sweet and bitter part) and keep up with your life.. Not without tears, not without support from your friends, but keep going nontheless.

I wonder if boys are the same.

The mistery of life, which God will reveal to us eventually when the time comes, is why I'm both scared and eager to face the future.

Resolution

I have not been exactly myself this past half and a week. And I'm tired of it, it's like I'm licking my own spit.. I didn't use my brain, my logic.. And I think I have to move, I don't want to end up being in the same circle over and over again. Just wake up, stupid! I have my own reality and problems to deal with. I just have to be brave about them.

Yay for new resolutions in life!

Grr

Just butt out! Mind your own business.. Grrr

Happy fasting!

I'm not the kind of people who can say "get well soon", or "I'm sorry to hear that", or "mohon maaf dan lahir batin", etc without feeling a little bit awkward. I'm just not into mushy stuffs like that. It's hard for me, I'm not like other people who can pull it off easily. I'm getting around making jokes all the time and pretend that everything's okay even though maybe inside I'm far from happy. But I just hate it when people know I'm upset, so I cheer up almost all the time in front of almost all people haha.

So anyway, I just want to say happy fasting! :)

HTS

I really hate and detest what's called HTS.. But what was I doing those 2 last days if it weren't HTS-ing? :'(
Like I'm not an onion already.. *sigh

AAR and goodbye!

Just got home from the all-american rejects concert. Truth be told i miss you. Truth be told penontonnya labil semua huhahu (terutama angel haha..) Kalo bukan karena nemenin adek gw dan menghindari hal lain gw sebenernya males nonton.. Seperti biasa gw ga bisa nonton dengan jelas (iya Rif, gw mau digendong) hhhh..

I was listening to mew the whole time while waiting for the concert to start (and yes, was crying too after the all-too-quick goodbye call) :'(

Mew

Mew live in concert rocked! XD
Although it wasn't a full one, still it rocked. Hah. Saviours of jazz balet..

Fastforward

I want to fastforward my life until the day I'm about to be married. How I long for a perfect little family of mine, with a loving husband and kids. And all the unhappiness can go to hell! Even though I know that it was impossible.. Haha one can dream, and surely I am.. Sigh.